Going on to your husband’s visa (in Dubai)

This, like everything, is easy to do, but long-winded, I’ve just rounded up the figures so don't judge my maths. The point is, is a lot of money!

The first and possibly most important thing to do is have your marriage certificate translated into Arabic and both versions attested by the UAE embassy in your home country, a notary and the UAE Ministry of Justice in the UAE.

You can get a company to do this for you and will cost around £300 or about 1500 dirhams, it takes around 6 weeks. This is the best way, since it would be more expensive for you to do it yourself, as you would have to go back to your home country, and that isn’t always easy to do!

If your company isn’t paying for your visa, it’s quite an expensive procedure- roughly around £600 or 3500 dirhams. Once you have the attested marriage certificate, take it to a reputable typing centre along with yours and your husband’s passport copies and 6 of your passport photos.

They will make an application for you, which you will have to take to the DNRD office. At the DNRD office you will need to take your DEWA bill and tenancy contract and pay for these to be attested at the marked counters. Every single thing will need to be signed by your husband.

Once this is done, you will need to wait in a LONG line of 3 hours to have your documents checked, stamped and put into the system. You could also do this in the ladies only section, but they are extremely difficult to deal with. I have complained to the DNRD about this and apparently they are dealing with it.

Now you have to take the printed pink slip you get from the DNRD and take it to the typing centre with some passport photos and I think around 700 dirhams.

A medical form is then typed up for you. This has to be taken to the approved health centres with 2 more passport photos, where you will have to do your medical tests for hepatitis and TB. Once your medical has been approved, you will get a confirmation sent to you via Fedex.

Now you will need to have your Emirates ID card papers written up at a typing centre for more money. This will all have to then be taken back to the DNRD, with the pink visa page you were given and your passport, where your visa will have to be stuck in your passport. The Emirates ID card is done separately at the Emirates ID office and will be left at a post office (usually Karama) for you to pick up.

I hope I haven’t forgotten any of the steps, I last did this in December; if I have, please message and let me know!

Biker's Cafe

I don't usually do this but a while ago, Biker's Cafe asked me to review them. God knows why they care what I think- @HHShkMohd goes there so there must be some appeal. I didn't want to let them know when I was going, to remove any obvious bias, plus I've been meaning to try it out for ages. 

Anyway when a friend of mine told me she was doing the Dubai thing to be an hour late for our date, I thought I may as well go check it out and double up as a venue for Comedy Dubai.

First impressions:

When I entered the restaurant and said I just needed a table for one, I was greeted by a raised eyebrow: "Only?"
Me: "Er, yes, is that a crime?"
I suppose if I wasn't me, that sort of comment may have put me on edge, so that needs to be addressed.

The vegetarian selection is reasonable but not so lucky for vegans: Pizza, pannini, nachos, 2 types of veg soup and breakfast served till 3pm with things like French toast.

The location is good, right next to the beach and easy to find, quite a lot of parking in a sandpit across the road.

I decided to go for the green mango salad - because it needed to be light and I do a green mango salad with lemon and chilli and if it's even slightly as good as mine, then it gets 5 stars

The service was good; drinks were on the table within a minute/ the food took 8 minutes with a pretty substantial portion size.

The mango salad tasted amazing, as good as mine, right amount of everything including . Brilliant blend of flavours and the calamari was cooked to perfection, so easy to get it wrong

Clientele - a mix, very normal, very Dubai- everything from traditionally-dressed Emaratis, to old Englishmen and students

Anyway the experience was good, so I decided to go again with my sister and a cousin visiting from South Africa, during an in-between time on his way to the airport.

I had the green mango salad again - it wasn't as nice this time, because they skimped on the calamari and used green instead of red chillies, but my cousin had a booster sandwich which he described as "tops". That means good.

We also had fries with chilli powder on them which were perfectly done, and according to my sister, the Mexican hotdog was amazing- I have never seen her finish what's on her plate in a restaurant before... But it was also the reason why she had zero space for dessert, which I think is madness.

My dessert was  SO good -sticky toffee pudding, with a bit of toffee in a lava fountain in the middle and strawberries and ice cream on the side- I would go back just for this.

My cousin didn't have the same luck with his slice of cheesecake, which was dry.

And amazingly, the mint tea was real...like with actual mint. I LOVE it when there's real mint.

All in all, while I'm not convinced by the biker theme and think it's basically a restaurant in Jumeirah, but I would go just for the food and the fact the beach is 1 minute away adds to the appeal.

For me, obviously the appeal is while there are lots of waiters, they are attentive but not hovering and annoying like every single other place in Dubai including my favourite take-out place Carluccio's

Ramadan Dos and Don’ts

 

Ramadan is coming up and I feel quite reflective.  Also, I’m helping a friend out with a Ramadan presentation to UAE newbies and thought I’d try to give UAE newbies who may come across this blog a bit of understanding of how to deal with coming to the UAE in Ramadan for the first time. As always, I am aware its with a little bit of my own bias, because I do fast and I like it....also this is my blog so I’m allowed to say whatever I like :-)

There are a lot of preconceptions and misconceptions about the “holy month” that I hear which is down to ignorance. The most common is an incredulous:  “I can’t believe you can’t have sex for a whole month” I mean seriously, Islam was started off in red-blooded Arabia, do you really believe that’s the case? Also, I’m not going to try to correct you when you’re so daft.

Ramadan and fasting is about abstinence but not just abstinence of food and drink from sunrise to sunset. It’s also about abstinence from bad habits. When I was younger, my spiritual teachers would say that it’s very easy to become angry, give in to your urges and tell someone where to get off for being a moron. 

It’s not so easy, however, to be calm and treat that person kindly and that’s why you should take the harder route. Think about it: who benefits from you losing your temper? Not the said “moron” and certainly not yourself. 
(This is advice I try increasingly to follow and I have to say thank you to UAE customer service people, you have done wonders for my patience, especially you, Du. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and thank you twitter for giving me a space to vent so I don’t have to head-butt anyone :-) Btw, the secretvent blog is very good if you want to have a loud but confidential rant, I regularly think of quite a few things to vent about during the week and then usually someone else puts it up, which is still satisfying!)

Some of the Don’ts

1.    Eat, smoke or drink (even water) in public – malls, service stations, office, your car, even    most gyms and beaches don’t allow this

2.    Play offensively loud music at any time of the day – including in your car

3.    Dress provocatively – this is a rule for the entire year but people are more sensitive to this kind of thing in Ramadan

4.    Swear or be aggressive – and especially not at anyone. Ramadan is a time for reflection and meditation and this could be seen as a sign of direct disrespect to people who are trying to maintain this.

5.    Complain of the fact that the nights are dry, or regale people with your stories of house parties where you got drunk last night. The fasting person wants to keep in the pure and meditation zone and doesn’t really care (and if its me, then I don’t care even if I’m not fasting.)

NB: While following these rules may be good to help one understand and be sensitive of the culture here, please note a lot of the above is the law, and anyone caught breaking it could be find up to 2000 Dirhams or put in jail for a month.

Do Get Involved

1.    Accept invitations to iftar – what better way to understand the culture than to first hand see the benefits of families getting together. The Sheikh Muhammad Centre for Cultural Understanding has traditional Emiratiiftars with a Q&A after it if you want a local flavour to the month http://www.cultures.ae/

2.    Be understanding of the fact that people are not eating, smoking, having their regular doses of caffeine and have also stayed up a large part of the night in prayer. They are bound to have a withdrawal headache of some sort, be slightly dull and/or possibly irritable.

3.    Give charity – why not?

4.    Try fasting for a day – if only to get an understanding of what your fasting colleagues are experiencing

5.    Use wisely the 2 hours extra of your working day that you are legally required to get off in the UAE. In my case and some other media people, we add up the hours and get days in lieu which we can add up and take as holiday – it works out to about 4 days extra for that month, which is amazing.

Fasting (from food, swearing etc ) is an activity like yoga; it starts of extremely difficult and the more you do it, you realise suddenly that you can accomplish exercises that 6 months or sometimes even 6 days ago seemed like climbing a mountain. Each time you make it harder for yourself, because it feels good to conquer your own inadequacies and it feels good to know you can do anything and YOU are the controller of your body and feelings.

The fasting person is encouraged not to swear, become angry or aggressive. They are encouraged to be even more mindful of people’s feelings, be kind, give charity every day- more than once if possible, do all of their five prayers (which they should do anyway) and a massive extra one in the evening.

The fasting person is supposed to cultivate better manners and try to develop at least one good character trait that they can nurture during Ramadan and then keep for the rest of their lives and I don’t think there is a more beautiful way of living than trying to better person

Cake shop reviews

Just for the record, I want to make it clear that any reviews in this blog are just my own personal experience and I’m not paid for any of them. Also, the places I’m going to aren’t aware that they are being reviewed and while I have been invited to numerous places to review (all of which are on a list) I will not let these places know prior to going and I will pay for everything out of my own pocket just so the review is non-biased. Also, I base my reviews more on customer service than anything, so if I get great customer service somewhere, then I am loyal to that place and will not go anywhere else if my life depended on it.

If you want to suggest any places for review, let me know and I will try to fit it in during the coming weeks/months!

So the three cake shops are:

·      Sugaholic http://sugaholic.com/contact/

·      Choco’a http://www.chocoa.ae/en/contact-us/contact-us

·      Brownie Point http://www.browniepointuae.com/contact_us.php

The cake for my wedding party came from Sugaholic

I had some issues:

1.   When my friend and I walked into the store, we were ignored for the good part of 15 minutes. When we were finally seen to and asked questions about the kind of cake we wanted, it turned out the person we were speaking to was not the right person. The right person was I presume the lady who owned the store and was doing something on her laptop still ignoring us.

2.   When the laptop lady was told she would have to deal with us, she left us to our own devices for a bit to do something else. This was slightly annoying but I needed to book a cake that day and I was already there.

3.   She came back and went into a detailed discussion about what the cake could look like and excitingly for me took pictures of my husband and I, so that she could model the figurines on us – this turned out to be a COMPLETE waste of time because as you can see neither of figurines look like either of us.

4.   There was zero tasting offered and I bought my own cupcakes to make sure the taste was good enough. Normally, I wouldn’t mind this, but for a wedding party cake, you have to agree this is off.

5.   The cake I bought was for 40 people, 2 layers and cost 570 dirhams- it both tasted and looked great.

The customer service issues were minor in the grand scheme of things but it is a huge selling point for me. So, based on customer service, location, design and taste, I’m going to give them 5/10 and will only go in to book when I have lots of time to spare…sadly this is hardly ever.

Brownie Point

My friends had ordered a cake for me from this store on the day of my bachelorette party and it tasted quite nice. Also, since I didn’t want to go all the way to Bur Dubai to deal with the Sugaholic lady who would make me wait, I decided to go to the Barsha branch of Brownie Point. I had been at work since 5am so I was really hoping to walk in and out since I sort of knew what I wanted, if I could just have a quick discussion with someone who would be able to tell me what was on offer. I also REALLY needed something chocolatey right at that moment. This is part of a letter I sent to Brownie Point (Which makes a big deal of customer service) shortly after walking into that store- with the response.

I just walked into your Barsha Store. There was nobody behind the counter, when I had called out for someone, a man turned up and asked if I wanted help. He said I needed to wait for 2 minutes- which was obviously 5.

He came back and asked what I would like, as I was discussing it, he said he needed a few more minutes and went off again leaving me with pictures to decide what I needed.

I chose my cake and sat patiently for a bit. Finally I called out again, he appeared as if it was a shock I was still there and again asked me to wait a short while.

I did, but my patience was waning, I wake up at 4am for work, I don't want to hang about doing nothing in my free time after it.

I called out to the man again, he didn't appear so I left.

Response from Brownie Point:

Hello Mam

I am extremely sorry and sincere apology for inconvenience caused

to you at the store. Saw you crossing the road and could not stop you.

Please provide me your cell number to book the order.

Once again sorry for this mishap.

Thanks. Anthony

You could not stop me? Really? I don’t really remember you trying to stop me. Weird. Also, you want my cell number to book the order- are you joking? I got another email from Brownie point asking me to book the cake but deleted it as I had already booked one somewhere else. Anyway, since I have tasted the cakes here before they get points based solely on that taste experience and design 5/10

The same day I was ignored in Brownie Point, I went into Choco’a down the road from them in Barsha– it took a total of 3 minutes to book my personalised cake, which was ready on time, when I went in 2 days later and tasted AMAZING. I ordered the Chocolate Ganache for 10 people-more than 20 people ended up having a slice and it cost a grand total of 200 dirhams. This is the bargain of the century, as far as I’m concerned. Also two days later, it still melted in the mouth- and tasted simply heavenly with a chunk of ice cream.

Choco’a gets 9/10 for taste, customer service and price and loses a point on the variation of design, but from now on, this is where I shop for party cakes.

Booking a Dhow Cruise exclusively for your party – Part II

The cruise was extremely enjoyable, the food was great except for dessert which was awful. However, we had our own cake, which made up for that. It’s good to note that every one of my guests who had to speak to Rikk’s Managing staff (Except for the aforementioned Pooja) told me that they were incredibly rude. I experienced this myself with one of the managing staff before getting on the boat. The staff on the boat itself were helpful and efficient. Either way, the experience was not ruined. Rikk’s had booked a Tanoura dancer for the cruise, even though I had cancelled it prior to the event- so we were all a bit surprised when he turned up in his gear. We had to cancel him again though, since he would have interfered with the picture-taking and cake cutting.

The mic system was not state of the art- but we didn’t need that, so it worked fine for our short speeches.

I’ll upload a picture of the cake as soon as I have one (I, personally, didn’t take any on the cruise!) especially since I have a review of 3 cake companies including the one I got the wedding party cake from.